Today was a rare day that I was able to catch up with my close friend, Ros, who lives in Brooklyn with her family. Close friend far away. We met in high school over 24 years ago. (Yeesh...long time.) We married exactly three months apart in 2002 and had our first children one month apart in 2004. During our first pregnancies, we talked for 3-4 hours at a stretch...me in California and Ros in New York. Those long talks felt like ten minutes. Little did we know how blissful those uninterrupted conversations were...the children were very quiet in utero. We had our second children almost five months apart in 2006. This year, we turn 40. It's been an amazing ride and I'm deeply grateful for Ros and our lifelong friendship.
I told her I'd post a picture of how Abigail spent some of her time while I was on the phone...for, was it, two hours? We plowed through the distractions of the now combined four children vying for our attention. Gone are the serene days of the first pregnancy. And we are in firm agreement that if someone tells us to cherish this time or sing-songs about how fleeting this time in our lives is just ONE MORE TIME...well, we'll probably just inwardly cringe as usual. (Although one of us is bound to lose it at some point.) Because it's hard, people. It's just hard. Sure, there's joy. Sure, there's wonder. But the daily, hourly, minute-by-minute juggling is just a lot of work. No one really tells the pregnant woman...no one has the heart...because the great stuff ultimately does outweigh the hard stuff. But when you're in the midst of the dailyness of motherhood...particularly with really young children...you need someone to say, "It's hard!" instead of, "Oh, cherish it!" Live in the now, yes, but know the now, while fleeting, can sometimes not "fleet" fast enough. It's been said, "The days are long but the years are short." I think we could both use a break so we're beginning to figure out how to spend time together for some time away. We would definitely cherish THAT.
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